Dear almost-finished-2015 Edwina,

Dear almost-finished-2015 Edwina,

You’re really messy, exceptionally lazy and your levels of procrastination exceeds most. I’m still working on that. You’re just starting to really how amazing you are and how many people actually think you’re awesome. You’re just starting to see in yourself what others have been begging you to see. Good job. Keep it up.

If you don’t mind, I’m going to give you a heads up. I am still confused: about life, about love and about yourself. That’s not a bad thing. However, I am slowly coming to terms with who I really am. That’s good. Remember what Ella said: ‘Progress is better than Perfection’.

I have started the process of finding true happiness. I’m starting to see the beauty in a lot of things and being positive is not as big of an issue. I’m starting to trust others more and opening up to people isn’t so terrifying. People are not as silly as we made them out to be. It’s all about finding the right people.

Don’t keep your hopes up for developing a fitness crave on New Year’s Week. It’s hasn’t happened yet. We love unhealthy food waaay to much. However, I’ve finally developed that love of yoga and addiction to Pilates that we’ve always wanted. Also, I got weights AND an exercise ball. So, you know, yay for small steps.

I’ve finally accepted the fact that we are stunning to look at. Like for real have you seen us lately? We. Are. AWESOME. I just wanted you to know that we look good. Even better, we know it now and believe it with every fibre of our being.

I’ve adapted to school. It’s still hard and I’m still questioning my course choice, but the never ending questions about ‘what the hell am I doing’ and ‘what makes me think I’m smart enough to DO this’ have thankfully stopped. I have stopped planning so far ahead and I’m learning to just enjoy the f*****g moment. As you always say to Lily, Ibs and Steph, life is never that serious. Enjoy it. You of all people should know its way too short.

I’ve learned to stand up for myself. While there are moments of ingrained fear of disappointing people, or the glimmer of desperation to avoid confrontation (check out these rhymes though), I can say with confidence, that I DO NOT allow people to make us feel small, or dumb, or fat, or ugly, anymore. That train has left.

I am slowly starting to see people’s interest in relationships. The thought of kissing another human being (like where has its mouth BEEN?!) doesn’t disgust me as much as it did. So you know. Again, yay for progress in life.

Finally, stop worrying so much. Everything is going to be fine. Just sit back, relax, and begin to detangle your hair in peace. Again. We're Awesome. Don't forget that.

Lots of love,

Almost-finished-2016 Edwina